Good Friday morning! I am back up and writing this morning. I have been struck with this nasty cold that everybody seems to have. Not a winter passes that I am not immune to this annoyance. This is fine because no illness can ever prevent from doing what I love best. I sit here this morning trying to figure out why a young boy's murderer did not receive justice. In my state, a person who has committed the crime of lewd molestation receives a lengthier sentence than the murderer received in this boy's murder. The American judicial system is something I may never be able to understand. Why was the sentence in this case not as newsworthy as the murders that happened in Newtown, Connecticut? In this case, a boy with autism was murdered by his own mother's hands. In the Newtown, Connecticut, an adult male massacred children and teachers. This case is as important as that case. This case is as important as school shootings, police chases, car jackings, and rapes.
On the NBC Nightly News last night, there
was also no mention the sentencing of a young mother from San Diego drowning
her small son who suffered from autism. The son’s medical bill had become too
much, piling up over $100,000. Taking care of the son had become too much for
this woman to handle. This mother was married. When the father received the
news, there was shock and probably disappointment. The Judge in the trial
increased the woman’s bond because there was a good chance she could have fled
to her home country of Mexico.
Our nation’s judicial system is failing us
as a society. In the end, this woman would up receiving fifteen years for this
murder. Had this woman been a repeat offender, the three strikes legislation in
California would have been applied. The Judge in this case should not have been
lenient at all. This woman did not commit a petty act – she committed murder in
cold blood. This woman made her own son suffer to death in a bath tub. There is
no legitimate explanation that will ever justify murdering somebody else.
For her crime, this woman receives a prison
sentence. Maybe the Judge sees this fifteen year sentence as a form of
restorative justice. Punitive justice would have served better in this case. With
restorative justice, the goal is deterring further criminal behavior. The controversy
surrounding restorative justice involves the simple act of deceitfulness. Some defendants
are sentenced to rehabilitation treatment centers. The defendants are aware of
their length of stay, and they can con authority figures into thinking they
have been rehabilitated. So, the sentence ends and the defendants are once
again reintegrated into society.
An alternative to deterring this crime
could have involved the mother reaching out to a support group. When I was in
my early twenties, I learned that San Diego seemed to be THE disability capitol
of America and later learned that Saint Louis, Missouri and Southern Illinois
were pretty close. There could have been religious leaders this woman could
have visited and been connected to women in church. In modern times, there are
support groups for parents raising children with special needs. The son could
have been taken to a children’s park where he could interact with other children.
Since I am not a parent of a child with
special needs, I probably will have critics who will think you don’t know what it’s like to be in the parent role and feel
frustrated with a child. These critics would be right. I am, however the
wife of a young man who lives with a mental illness. This is probably like
comparing apples and oranges, though. I really do not know what being in the
parent role would be like. With cases like this, I am honestly thankful to not
be bringing a child up in our world today. I do not know how I would handle
explaining death to my own child. Death has been so hard for me handle from an
early age.
So, I cope by reading literature. How did
this woman cope with her son having autism? My husband has a sweet cousin who
lives in New York and she has a teenage son who has autism. This cousin has
never once complained about her son’s autism. Her children are the light of her
world. If these children were not in her life, I believe this would be devastating.
This woman tries to create the best
possible life for her children. Even though the son does have autism, his
disability does not favor the relationships the trio share.
I am a big fan of the show “Law & Order,”
and I remember one situation that applies to this mother’s case. In the early
1990s, an institution was investigated because a young boy with a mental and
physical disability died at the hands of the facility directors. Several families
relied on this institution for their loved ones’ housing and therapy. In the
end the institution was closed. An angry mother approach DA Jack McCoy and
asked him, “Where is my son going to go now? Can he live with you?”
To this day, I can still try to put myself in
both the mother’s shoes along with DA McCoy’s. For me, it is easy to believe
the mother needs to start taking responsibility for raising her son instead of
relying on other people. This child grew inside of her womb for nine months. She
has a responsibility to work with doctors, occupational, behavioral, teachers,
and physical therapists for this child to be able to lead a successful life. She
does not realize there are young couples like my husband and me who are unable
to have a biological child and would give anything to raise one.
When I think about the woman who murdered
her son, I reflect on the first few months after I was born. In March of 1980, I
was hospitalized. I had seizures left and right. Being in the hospital for
awhile probably did ring up a lengthy bill. The difference in my situation is
nobody who really loved me tried to murder me in cold blood. I was provided
with resources that helped me lead a successful life. There was one decision
from my childhood I would have changed if I could have. Other than that, I
strongly believe there are alternatives that can prevent a parent from going
off the deep end.
When a parent loses control with a child,
this is not good parenting. I remember drama between a father and daughter going
viral awhile back. The daughter had posted hateful messages about her father on
Facebook on her newly updated laptop her father had set up. In an outside
setting, the father set up a video camera and documented his choice to shoot
the daughter’s laptop. Some people like me were outraged and horrified by this
while others applauded it. I can never support an act of violence for any
reason. This is not an act of love and correcting a child’s behavior. This is
an act of superiority, abuse, and will only create fear in a child.
The daughter’s behavior was wrong as well. Since
her parents were divorced, I sensed there might have been more behind this
rebellious, immature behavior. The family needed counseling and this became
obvious with the father’s violent behavior. With the language the daughter used
in the beginning, I thought maybe she had learned this from friends. As I listened
to the father use the same language, I realized this man had created a
duplicate of himself.
The woman who murdered her son does not
have sympathy from me. I did have some sympathy yesterday perhaps. The more I have
had time to write about the alternatives this young woman could have sought,
the less I see her in a positive light. Taking the life of any person is
breaking a divine Commandment. This child suffered with autism, and to top that
off, he was drowned by his own mother’s hands.
I remember the Biblical story of a young baby
who was placed in a little basket in a stream. The young mother made the choice
to give her son up because she could not provide care for him anymore. This woman’s
unselfish act of love and kindness led her son to find comfort in the arms of a
young queen. The biological mother wanted her son to have a better life and be
provided with happiness and development.
When I decided to have a hysterectomy, I remember
that was one of the hardest decisions I had ever faced. Even early on, I knew I
was not meant to have a biological child. Now that I see so many women friends who
have had children, are pregnant, or are adopting, sometimes I do become sad. I do,
however know that these babies will be raised in positive, loving homes. I do
not have to worry about the babies winding up murdered at the hands of their young
mothers.
As a young woman reading about a child with
autism being drowned, I am truly grateful I was blessed to be raised in a
completely different environment. I am against new advances in technology that
show disabilities in fetal positions. I believe this is playing with God’s
creation and opposes nature. Parents can decide to abort a fetus at this point
or give the baby up for adoption. This does not allow people with physical
disabilities a good chance of surviving the odds. We do not have the natural
human rights as babies in our mother’s wombs. The modern choice of whether we
should live or die is at the fate of whoever watches the screens during ultra
sounds.
I agree that a woman’s right in making
decisions for her own body should also play a role. One good factor in the
advancement in technology with babies preparing a couple before a baby is born.
If a disability is going to be present, the couple can begin making plans on
how to raise the baby in a positive, loving, stress-free environment. There is
no point in becoming overwhelmed and frustrated. Everything works out in the
end. Parents worry about problems that should be taken care of tomorrow.
When I was born, the advancement in
technology would never have noticed my physical disability. The disabled side
of me became active in March. My body would have outsmarted those machines
anyways! Plus, I do not believe anybody would have decided to abort me early
on. My grandmothers would have tried to save my life, and I don’t think anybody
could have ever gone against those two strong female heroines.
The term “expecting” also comes to my mind
when I think about pregnancy. For nine months, a woman carries a baby in her
womb. If the woman is married, the couple are said to be expecting. Expecting what,
though? I like to remember the good old days when women held baby showers when
the gender could be identified. There would be gifts for both boys and girls. Without
this definition of expecting, no woman became disappointed when a baby girl or
boy arrived into this new world. The baby was liberated in a way. The baby did
not have bondage placed upon him or her. The baby’s arrival seemed more
wholesome and real. Only God knew what gender the baby was going to be.
From the case in San Diego, I felt
disappointed with the Judge’s fifteen year sentences for murder. This case did
not involve a youth murdering somebody else. The case involved an adult woman
who knew the difference between right from wrong. The woman took a son away
from his father. The son was deprived from ever knowing what being disabled and happiness
meant. The son would never celebrate another birthday. The son’s medical bills
added up and the mother could not continue living this way. Instead of
believing in tomorrow, she only believed in problems of today. In about seven and
a half years, this woman will more than likely be released on good behavior. Maybe I expected too much for justice to have been served in this child's murder. Maybe if I lower my standards for the judicial system, I won't feel as disappointed when the wrong people are given lighter sentences than those who really deserve punitive sentences. |
| In loving memory of Daniel Corby, forever age 4 |
"Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." - Matthew 19:14
No comments:
Post a Comment