Amanda-Leigh Writes Home

I am drawn to English writers and late American writers than those of modern voices. My personal idea of modernism is me living during the time of the great Keats, Woolf, Wollstonecraft, Wordsworth, Keats, Browning, Williams, Hurston, Jacobs, Tennyson, Ellison, Bierce, Crane, Clemens, Alcott, Chopin, Wharton, and so many more. These great writers make me evaluate my own life, the world surrounding me, and everything that may seem chaotic in this world. Realism beats to a different tune of its own making than Romanticism. The great writers’ hands wrote about real events, feelings, and perspectives that were happening during their time period. I am able to better identify with the hardships these writers’ literary characters have had to deal with.

In his story “Flying Home,” contemporary writer Ralph Ellison makes me aware that strong spirited African American men were not allowed to fly planes or fight in wars. As I re-read this powerful story about brotherhood, I have to wonder if this setting was real or an imagination. I am aware this story originated from the mind of a great writer. In our world, can a young pilot really meet an older version of himself?

The plot “Flying Home” includes an older African American man rescuing a young African American pilot named Ned. In the beginning, the pilot refers to this older man’s hands and the faces surrounding as having no color. The hands that rescued him were the same as heavenly white angels. For this short period of time, there was no militant/civilian relationship. This young man was at the mercy of kind hearted strangers.

Ellison’s realism creates a strong like for the older African American literary character in the beginning. He is the protagonist. As the story progresses, Ned becomes the antagonist. Young Ned has an ego problem. Since learning how to fly at an early age, he thinks he is better than this older man. His speech is superior as well as his tone of voice and body language. Young Ned is not able to relate well to this older gentleman in order to show him respect or listen to his perspective on life. Young Ned becomes defensive and feels the older gentleman is making of him.

Flashbacks provide more insight for readers for both of these men’s history. The mothers treat their young boys terrible and discourage their dreams of flying. The older gentleman does listen to his mother and gives up the American dream of flying a plane. Young Ned defies his mother’s wishes by pursuing his dream. The story lands us with Young Ned crashing this plane along with his dream.

As I read this today, I wonder if this really happened. Was this older gentleman an apparition of the boy he was? Does he believe his dream of flying would have come crashing down the way the plane did when Young Ned flew? What does this story say about the period of Ralph Ellison?

In 1944 when “Flying Home” was written, there were no voting rights or civil rights for African American men. Granted, Abraham Lincoln did pass the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863. Still, this did not pave the way for young African American men to have an optimistic view of their world filled with opportunities and freedoms. Young boys were discouraged from chasing dreams only given to those boys who were born into opportunity and education.

The older gentleman seeing this plane in the sky took him back to his own childhood. I remember as a child, those feelings of excitement stirred within. Realism had not hit yet. There was a feeling of Romanticism. What could I do with this new thing in my life? Should I tell somebody else about this new adventure or will I be laughed at? This is a universal feeling. I am able to identify with the older gentleman and feel his excitement.

I am also able to feel this older gentleman’s disappointment. Sometimes I wonder what the non-disabled version of myself would be like if she were alive in today’s world. We would probably not be able to relate to each other the way this older man and Young Ned could not. Our worlds would be the complete opposite. I do have a romantic version of the non-disabled woman I would have become. This does make me happy. I love to imagine who she would be today.

In a world miles away, she stands before a mirror. She wears a long silky dress and laughs at herself the way an old school girl does. She has hair as long as Crystal Gayle. Everything she wears is homemade. She is a woman of words. She does not let an idle minute pass without thinking and writing about literary characters in her stories. She is a Princeton graduate and professor of literature at Cambridge. She travels the world lecturing on the great women of different time periods. She lives and breathes for the love of knowledge.

I have written about the professional side of my non-disabled self. I have not written about the personal side of my non-disabled self. Is there one? Does my non-disabled self have a husband, boyfriend, or children? Do we share the same dreams and optimism? If you can tell, I am really enjoying thinking about and exploring the depths and boundaries never crossed before! Stepping outside of the safety of a box is what I enjoy the most in this world. The set rule of normalcy was meant to be broken.

I conclude my writing this morning with the following questions to ponder: How did this older gentlemen feel about meeting a complete replica of himself? How does he handle the disappointment when his dreams literally come crashing down? Does this older man feel a sense of resentment or jealousy the world never sees first hand? How would you feel if you were in his situation? Was this real? Was this a hallucination? Was this a dream the pilot experienced? After reading the story, does the title "Flying Home" make more sense?