Amanda-Leigh and Officer Chad Peery's Courage

Mid-April has arrived. There are many things on my mind. Some thoughts are only known to my keeper (not my husband!). I have gratitude that I may not express as often as I need. Yesterday was a tragic, sad day for our nation and fellow Oklahomans. A bomb exploded during the Boston Marathon and a young police officer passed away in a hospital. All of this happened when I checked Facebook to see how my friends were doing. My friends were naturally as shaken up as I was.

Two things I loved about Officer Chad Peery were his strength and determination. This man passed away yesterday afternoon after surviving the last two years as a paralyzed man. The paralysis did not happen naturally. Rather, Officer Peery tried to break up a bar fight one night while he was watching a sports game with his father at a bar. Officer Peery was off-duty at the time. Afterwards, Officer Peery’s life changed. He became a paralyzed man who provided strength for men and women like me. 

Writing about this man’s devotion to the police force tears me up inside as I write. When Officer Peery chose the field of law enforcement, he became a public servant. From my knowledge of law enforcement, I am aware the field can be difficult at times. Police officers can suffer from burnout, family problems, being hurt on the job, and being put in difficult situations. This leads an officer to question his or her own dedication to the field. If an applicant is not willing to work off the clock, what is the point?  

A Bachelor of Science is required for modern policing. An applicant without a Bachelor of Science can be hired for easy tasks such as desk duty and filing. To be considered for a promotion in the department, an applicant must have a higher level of education. I have often wondered the reasoning behind this, and this high standard is controversial to several Americans. What can an applicant with a higher level of college do better than an applicant that has had more experience with the real world?

From Officer Peery and other great influences, I have been motivated to go back for my Bachelors of Arts. I was once a woman who skipped a college literature course to watch groups performing at concerts on my former college campus. I questioned why I was attending college, where education would lead me, and why nobody could see past the education to see the person I was. From this perspective, the world seemed like a cruel and unforgiving place. This was not the good old eighties, where kind elderly people gave people chances. Those days have passed.

When I watched news reports on Officer Peery’s condition, I was still recovering from blood clots and a hysterectomy. I kept an active journal. Every thought was produced on paper by pen. I rejected modern technology to write with. As I saw Officer Peery on television, strength and hope were provided to me. Here was a police officer, a son, a husband, and a father whose life forever changed because of a bar fight. The reality tore my heart out at the seams. This crossover was more cruel than my condition where I became physically disabled in March of 1980. This officer had children whose eyes watched his every movement. This man continued to be a public servant.

I continue to pursue my education online. After reading about my great literary friends’ success, I believe getting more college education is meant for me. For the summer, I am enrolled in Creative Writing and Comparative Religions. One textbook is required for Creative Writing while there are close to five for Comparative Religions. All of this must be completed before August. The average person would probably be overwhelmed by this must reading in college. Believe me, I am. I can feel the stress without college even beginning for over a month.  

One thing I have learned during the past few years is that God does not give us more than we can handle. Granted, going back to college is time consuming and often leads me to staying inside working most of the time. I read until my eyes need rest. I enjoy participating in class discussions, writing papers, and being liberated from the stubborn old views I may have had. College enriches my life. This is where I do not feel the disability. Each time I write, there are no chains of steel confining me to one corridor in modern society.

Reflecting back to the woman who a skipped literature course, I can honestly say I am glad I did. I would never have been the person I am today. I was able to seek out college courses that were specially designed for students like me who struggle with social phobias, meeting daily class schedules, weather threats, and other challenges. Since returning to college, I have never questioned why I have given college courses my one hundred percent. I want to learn how to write better and become more aware of humanity as a culture and art. I do not wish to remain as a flat character in my society. I wish to become a round character and change as new ideas are presented to me.

I will admit, the reading part has me a little concerned. I chose to return to college, and extensive reading is part of the package. Is this something I can handle? Do I feel confident? Do I doubt myself as a student? Do I have the energy to read and write so much in such a short period of time? These are question I consider entering every course. I am certain Officer Peery and heroes face similar questions. 

To An Athlete Dying Young

A. E. Houseman

THE time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high.
To-day, the road all runners come,	\
Shoulder-high we bring you home,
And set you at your threshold down,
Townsman of a stiller town.
Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields where glory does not stay,
And early though the laurel grows
It withers quicker than the rose.
Eyes the shady night has shut
Cannot see the record cut,
And silence sounds no worse than cheers
After earth has stopped the ears:
Now you will not swell the rout
Of lads that wore their honours out,
Runners whom renown outran
And the name died before the man.
So set, before its echoes fade,
The fleet foot on the sill of shade,
And hold to the low lintel up
The still-defended challenge-cup.
And round that early-laurelled head
Will flock to gaze the strengthless dead,
And find unwithered on its curls
The garland briefer than a girl's.

Amanda-Leigh's Third Wedding Anniversary

My husband and I will be celebrating our third wedding anniversary tomorrow. We were married before the emergency room visits for blood clots, medicine transitions, addictions, adopting our child, and college courses. I must admit the last three years of my life have definitely been eventful. I am looking forward to celebrating my wedding anniversary with the great man I married.

I married at age thirty. At thirty, I believed I was ready to become a wife. At twenty one, I believed the same. As a young woman fresh out of high school, I was in college with dreams of graduating from college with a Bachelors of Arts in English. I received praise from my Composition I and II professors at the time. I realized the dream of graduation but did not have the ambition of fulfilling that goal until my wonderful husband’s physical presence and prayers for me to strive to do better in my own life.

When I married at age thirty, I did not have maturity. I did not know exactly what I wanted in this world. Being a wife was something I did want. I had so much love to offer a man and I wanted to show this. I wanted a great man in my life who would return the love. I did not want to give more of myself than necessary before our wedding vows. This meant that we did not live together before marriage. I liked the freedom to come and go as I pleased. I liked to have space in my home. This is what I personally believe. I do not wish to force my beliefs on anybody or make a reader feel inferior or low. I am simply stating my personal beliefs.

  

By my husband waiting for me until our wedding day, he showed me a new set of American values that seems to be lost. He did not have to disrespect my womanhood. My womanhood still shone on our wedding day. My husband loved me for me. He did not wish to violate me. That part came after our wedding and behind closed doors. Nobody else needs to see our private, intimate moments. My womanhood was not dependent on a man during our courtship. I did not have to be the female version of The Courtship of Eddie’s Father.  I had no impressionable young children who were living with me who could say, “Mommy, you set a good example for me. I don’t want to live with anybody before I grow up and get married. I want to be just like you!” I continued to go out the way I always did and lived life to the fullest. I had no one waiting on me at home. 

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. I call marriage a life sentence. Marriage is not something that should be entered into lightly. Marriage should be taken seriously and discussed thoroughly before the wedding day. This means discussing personal family values, religion, backgrounds, gender roles in the home, raising children, finances, dreams, and hobbies. Marriage happens when two people meet in the middle in unity. One person alone cannot make a marriage work.

Marriage is not always easy. This I know. My husband’s personality changed greatly from his electroshock therapy treatments and medication changes. There are times we feel like wringing each other’s necks. Sometimes I feel like locking him out of our home. Sometimes we can’t handle each other’s mood. Sometimes we can be like vinegar and oil. In the end, we are able to hold each other in our bed at night with our tiny Chihuahua between us. We adore each other. We feed off of each other. We build each other up. My husband sure knows how to build his buttercup up. I am his "Gracie" and he is my "George."

My husband and I have not had the perfect marriage. Three years sure does feel like a long time. We have been through so much together in such a short time. I can still remember my husband on our wedding day. My husband was so nervous during our wedding ceremony that he kept kissing me. What a cutie! He reminded me of a kid in a candy store who had his heart set on one piece of candy. This is the feeling I love. My husband has sacrificed greatly for me to be the woman I am today. Even though the electroshock treatments did not get my husband off his medicine, he still has a heart of a sweet child. I still feel bad about putting my husband through several emergency room visits and hospital stays. In the end, we are still in unity. I love being married to my husband.