Amanda-Leigh Explores Transcendentalism

One thing Louisa May Alcott’s biography taught me is to never give up. Her golden days were spent writing for fourteen hours a day. For exercise, she would walk miles by foot. This young maiden’s experiences provided me with hope. If this great female writer could live life to the fullest, then certainly I could, too.

Miss Alcott lived during the Transcendentalism movement in literature. This movement began with British philosophers and writers. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, and Bronson Alcott were the pioneers of Transcendentalism. There have been many definitions of Transcendentalism. The best definition refers to naturalism. Transcendentalism is a movement in literature that creates a natural feeling of being one with the environment. This can also be a spiritual experience. For example, later American writer Stephen Crane’s story of brotherhood in “The Open Boat” can support arguments of fitting into the Transcendentalist genre.

I also equate naturalism and Transcendentalism to the writings of British poets during the seventeenth century and beyond. As a guru of fine literature, I was assigned to read poetry from the greats of the British world. I remember during my high school days of English, I would groan inside when being assigned to read poetry. I really disliked dissecting poems the way a science student dissects frogs. After surviving blood clots as an adult, the process became more real to me. I would either have to learn terms in poetry to make my “A” or I would fail miserably. I chose to dig into the poetry and writings. I wanted to have a wealth of knowledge on these great writers. The more I read, the more I understood history.

In Introduction to Law Enforcement, the British were the main Sugar Daddies of knowledge. Our laws and philosophies stem from the British. Foot patrol, the most effective form of policing, came from Britain. The baton also came from Britain. Our ideas and thinking came from Britain. Being able to understand the writings of British literature seemed important to me. One, I learned from Peter Jennings’ biography that a great wealth of knowledge about the past will help a person understand the future better. Two, literature and law enforcement mix together. Three, learning British literature makes a person mature. Finally, the British seemed to have a strong sense of confidence in their world. Perhaps the latter is what attracts me to great authors such as William Wordsworth, Robert Browning, Virginia Woolf, and Mary Wollstonecraft.

The world of writing can be spiritual for most of its residents. The same is true for me as Bronson Alcott once proved. As an educator, Alcott strongly believed that children learned best by the Socrates style instead of rote memorization. In Socrates learning, Alcott presented a topic where students had to think outside the box. There were no exams that included memorization of facts. Socrates wanted his students to thrive by creating ideas and imaginations rote memorization failed to offer. This taught students that only one answer was not absolute, or fixed. Alternative answers were applicable. Going one step farther, this acceptance of new ideas and thought enabled students to branch out and become more tolerant of the abnormal. This can be equated with the liberated program style in music. Composers like Saint-Saens created new styles of musical expression by experimenting with ideas and thoughts.

I don’t believe the world was ready for Bronson Alcott. I believe Bronson Alcott might have been happier in our modern world residing over an independent charter school or virtual high school. Many people did not attend his lectures when he travelled. I would have probably attended every lecture of Alcott. This man’s writings prove himself to be a man beyond his years. I would have asked to become of his students. The greatest female student Alcott taught turned to write great novels. I believe Miss Alcott had a fear of her Father the way children are supposed to have. Fathers do not relish on mushiness from their daughters. This could be why Miss Alcott did not close her letters the same she did with female correspondences. I believe Miss Alcott understood her Father better than anyone else did. In her book, Miss Alcott of Concord,  Marjorie Worthington once pointed that Louisa May had a keen perception about her parents troubles better than her three sisters. Perhaps Louisa May felt the need to protect her parents’ financially and this was her duty in life. Much like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Louisa May felt discomfort that she was not born a son. These patterns set through the years.

In closing, I encourage the avenue of literature in this world. I encourage the reading of the great British and American writers. Each day that passes is one that needs sharpening. I read biographies, stories, and listen to music. I love the arts. Without the arts, I do not know where I would be at this point. I would probably be a nomadic wandering wearing neon clothes. This is not a pretty sight. Neither is going a day without reading. I love to read. Reading loves me in return. Reading is my window to the world. Not a day passes where the blinds are closed to me. I love to explore new worlds and opportunities. This is where I am not turned down for employment for having a physical disability. This is where I can sit and read about birds and animals becoming personified by writers. I am able to dance at balls with nice gentleman callers. I am able to go on trips abroad and not worry about flight attendants freaking out about my physical disability. I am able to wake up and wear clothes I normally would not try. I am able to breathe literature and be held captive. The expressions written on pages are not words I wish to run from. See you in literature!

Amanda-Leigh and Smart Shopping

Yesterday afternoon, I played around with my new phone. I can remember a time when cell phones first became popular on the college campus. The year, I would estimate, was around 2005. I can remember feeling alienated when I was around students with cell phones. This made me not wish to purchase a cell phone or be on a plan. I was attending college to make friends and get a good education. If college students were connected to a world outside the friendly college atmosphere, how could both goals be met? This is probably the reason I feel more of a connection with online college. I don’t feel as alienated as I do in the regular college environment. Plus, with the advancement of modern technology, I am able to take full advantage of the situation.

I decided the time had come for an upgrade. When I paid my phone bill online, I noticed a purple phone I would love to have. I did not decide to get a new color of phone. I decided to upgrade to a touch-screen phone. One preparation that led me to this decision was the process of observation. I had observed other people having problems typing on the touch-screen. My process of thinking going across a new avenue began with a question:  how could I improve the conflict of typing on such a small screen?  What tool could help me type better?

I had seen Styllus pens used with purchases. A Stylus pen is usually used with purchases at stores and restaurants. The Stylllus pen made sense. I got it. Since I have problems with spasms and uncontrollable hand movements at times, the purple Styllus pen and I had a blast yesterday! I learned how to put my contacts into groups of Family and Friends. I began texting again. Before too long, this new phone, Styllus pen, and I had formed a great relationship. i do highly recommend any man and woman with a physical disability to follow my path of using a touch-screen phone and a Styllus pen to type with. The best place to purchase a Styllus pen is on Amazon. Amazon has a few sets of Styllus pens for a couple dollars.

I searched a freelance website yesterday that seemed to have potential until my husband set me straight. The word “bid” meant I had to made a financial bid on how much I would pay to be a ghost writer or research projects for writers. One creative freelance writer scanned his or her handwritten manuscript in to be typed by someone else. This did interest me but not the bidding part. When I perform a service to the field of writing, I want to be the one who gets paid. I would be taking the time to download the files, print the pages off on my printer, and typing the manuscripts on my time. I would be happy to type manuscripts for other people or write as a ghostwriter. But to bid on typing? This makes no sense to me. I am glad my husband pointed this out to me. I would want somebody else to appreciate the effort I put into him or her write a story or piece of work.

Amanda-Leigh's Recommendations for Styllus pens:

 http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B005AOKW8Q/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&colid=1EETHPKJU7DPJ&coliid=I30MV8I2MULVRZ&condition=new

This link comes from my Wish List on Amazon. The prices fall each day on my items. I am sharing this item because this is a smart purchase that can benefit other people. I recommend buying Styllus pens to give away as gifts. Keep one pen and pass the others around! Slip a pen inside a gift. Friends and family will be grateful!

Amanda-Leigh and Respect

Yesterday evening, I came across the story of an eighty year old grandmother who was a blood clot survivor. This woman had surgery to permanently stop blood clots from forming. What I am left with is the trace of a smile on the woman’s face. As someone who has experienced the trauma of facing blood clots, smiling is a sign of strength and courage. This woman deserves to smile and feel at peace. I do not know if I could have such strength dealing with a third round of  blood clots. I would like to be optimistic at least. This beautiful woman sure is!

I have begun to realize that blood clots will be an active part of my existence. I have tried so hard to deny this existence. When I traveled to the transit center in September 2012, I saw my dream of college shattered once again. That devastated me. After recovering from blood clots, college became my passion. This path led me to making wiser decisions, becoming more stable and not having to depend on the natural flight-flight response to cope, and everything seemed to make sense. The woman in me felt threatened once again.

I had to take time off (yet again) to recover. This time Celexa was messed up in my body. I did not feel well mentally. I withdrew from my college. I could not handle everything at once. This was too much for me. Taking time off became a good decision. I was able to focus on losing weight and learned how to eat better. I did not like myself. The Emergency Room visit in September can be seen as a wake-up call.

 At the time, I weighed one-hundred eighty nine pounds. I was living on Dr. Pepper, foods high in sugar and fat, and all of that good, inexpensive stuff seen in aisles. Something had to give. Since the incident last February at dinner, I was on a downward spiral. I ate more to hide the pain. I felt ugly inside. My body was the first – and only – thing men saw in me. This really was not what I wanted.

I wanted people to see me the way I see the eighty-year-old woman. I wanted people to see my smile first and then my mind. I did not want people to see my curves first off. I find this degrading to a woman. A woman deserves to be respected. A woman does not deserve to be stared at like a sex object. I am not a sex object. I am a woman who wants to be seen for my mind. I want people to look at me for my mind and not my physical disability. I want to be hired at a good place that will lead to promotions. I do not wish to be treated as an unequal in modern society.

I feel confident about my decision to go back to college and work on my BA in Liberal Arts with a concentration in English. I desire to get more education than I currently have. This right is granted to me in modernism. I will admit, I have wallowed in self-pity because every door to job opportunities have been bolted shut because I have no Bachelor’s degree to show for my hours and hours of hard work in college. If I had an Associates in Applied Science, I would probably be taken more serious. Since I only have an Associates in Arts, I have been turned down. I do not regret the hours I spent reading, discussing, preparing for quizzes and exams, the courses I took, and the literary friends I have made. I am truly sorry employers are unable to see the efforts and  accomplishments people like me have contributed to our societies. We have worked extremely hard to overcome. We did not work this hard to be discriminated against. We are seen as liability issues rather than real people.

Amanda-Leigh and Arthur Miller

A man sits on a deserted stage. The lights are dimmed. I can tell this playwright has “been through the ringer” so to speak. The more I read this man’s biography, the more disappointed I become. In Arthur Miller’s college years at the University of Michigan, his plays advocated for a change from the exterior of a person’s environment. This contrasted greatly with the plays of the great Tennessee Williams. One playwright concentrated on exterior conflicts while the other used internal conflicts. Still, as a critic, I do not feel either man succeeded in meeting these two goals.

Had these goals been met, Arthur Miller would have written that his father became a success in his plays. This would have included Miller writing a play including his son Daniel, who lived with Downs syndrome. This would have led Miller to advocate for better treatment of patients living in institutions. Where else would this path have led Miller to? This is something we will never know. Why did Miller not mention Daniel in conversations with friends and publicly? Why did Miller write plays that featured the man down on his luck instead of providing a reasonable solution to the conflicts?

If Miller had failed as a playwright, I could easily see him written into Paule Marshall’s story “Brooklyn.” The antagonist, Professor Max Berman, fits quite well with Miller’s roots and decisions. I compare their lives because I read this biography with this thought: What if this college student from the University of Michigan did not ever gain literary success? I can easily place Miller in Berman’s bitter role. Their pasts fit like one perfect jigsaw puzzle. 

I am left with the conclusion that the Transcendentalism movement in literature might be better to read. I am not afraid to close Arthur Miller’s biography and move on. I must move on with my life. I do not wish to read about a man who institutionalized his disabled son right after birth. As a woman with a physical disability, this is not acceptable to me. I do not have respect for any parent who dumps a poor lonely child at the gates of an institution. I do not wish to separate the man from the playwright in this case. From now on, I will be sticking to my beloved seventeenth to nineteenth writers. They have never disappointed me in any way.

Amanda-Leigh and the Meaning of March

March is Blood Clot Awareness Month. What does this mean? This means we have the chance to spread the word that blood clots are alive and active in modernism. Most people are the way I once was and believed blood clots could never happen to me. We are above this. Those of us who have survived feel this way. We have our lives back in check. We are not there yet.

Blood clots made me realize that reality existed. The child in me grew up the afternoon I entered the emergency room. I had to make the decision to either accept this life-changing experience or give up. The decision to accept realism did not happen overnight. The decision did not happen until I took American Literature since 1865. The term realism made more since to me. I have learned the meaning well in literature and my own life. I cannot exist in this world without the concept of realism.

Realism created a world for me that may seem cold, harsh, and potentially dangerous. No longer do Mother Goose stories make sense. The Tooth Fairy does not provide me with a sense of security. Nursery rhymes were not with me in the hospital. Where was the loving tenderness of childhood? Where were the loving voices of the greetings of friends I had seen at college on a daily basis? Where was that tender touch of books I had loved so much? Where were the peaceful worlds of Romanticism and naturalism? I added the latter two movements in literature to provide more of a realistic view from a woman who sat caged in a hospital for a few weeks. Everything I have listed became removed from my world during a dark period. This provides more of a depressing atmosphere. This was real to me. This alienated me from the rest of the world at the time. This created the step I needed to gracefully enter womanhood. No regret, should've, would've thinking lasted like stale fumes of a candle in the morning light. I woke up with the reality that I needed to change my life for the better. I created the goal of finishing college. I now have new goals. I have no limits on what I can and cannot do. I prefer to be direct and to the point in everything I do. Nothing should be missing from my daily planner. Nothing should be questionable in my life either. In a nutshell, I must practice what I preach. 

Blood clots opened the door to a rude awakening for me. At first, coping was not easy. I had an extreme dislike for Margaret Sanger Seely. Who can blame me? This one hundred percent liberated woman created a pill to genocide the African  American population in her society. Sanger was arrested numerous times, fled to a different country, and returned to America with a vengeance. Sanger found a vulnerable widow whose wealthy husband left a large inheritance. This money funded the little pills that women take each morning.

Had blood clots not affected my life, I probably would have never known the real history of birth control. The real history is not glamorous or attractive the way we see on commercials. Is an ambulance with paramedics attractive to you? This certainly is not attractive to me. I credit this research with the power of knowledge. I refuse to rely on the self for answers as it can be bias. I wish to turn to higher authority for answers. What I know is not good enough. This is the reason I suggest a woman document every little detail about events onto paper. What if a woman wishes to write a story and needs to remember a peculiar detail about an event and who attended? By her memory alone, she cannot be graced with such record. A woman needs to keep a thorough daily planner or journal to re-create events. This will allow her family to be provided with a wealth of knowledge on her life. She should document how struggles in this world made her feel along with plans of action she took to be the heroin of her own world.

I credit March with the month my life changed as a three month old baby. Perhaps this should not be remembered but I remember. I remember this the way a soldier remembers his first battle. There are no medallions in my situation. The doctors who saved my life did not receive stars on Hollywood Boulevard. I am alive today because of great doctors and nurses. At thirty-three years old, my dreams are coming true. March is the month winter ends and Spring begins. March is our Memorial Day. We deserve to have this special month.