Amanda-Leigh and the Princesses of the Round Table

Good Friday morning from Amanda-Leigh! This has been one busy week from Oklahoma legislation. A law prohibiting smoking in public places was passed. The Governor stated that schools should not be required to build storm shelters. This statement comes days after tornadoes blew through towns in Oklahoma. Since I am not a political person by heart, I will only state my fact. Realism in literature is much easier to cope with than realism in real life situations.

With that being written, I will admit that I have been suffering from depression for the last two days. What is going on? I believe reality has finally caught up with me. For months, I was excited about beginning college to work on my BA. When I search for employment, nobody will give me a chance. Nobody will take me seriously because of my speech difficulty. For anybody who thinks I have self-pity, this is far from the truth. I am not the only person with a physical disability that has doors slammed in her face. We want and deserve more. We wish to be financially independent. We wish to provide clothes and basic necessities for our families with our own money. We wish to have the American dream.

I am back to square one with the princesses of the round table. How did Queen Esther save the Jews? How did Mary have the strength to weep for her son being crucified? How did Catherine Beecher begin teaching? How did Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton have the fighting power to win equality for African American and female citizens? With so much debris plaguing inside of me, I wish someone with the strength of Hulk Hogan would knock the debris away so I can think more clearly. I am frustrated at this point.

One of my prayers was answered this week. My husband began working yesterday. He works on Thursday through Sunday part time. My husband is grateful to be able to work at all. He applied at several places in our town. Several employers would promise to call or e-mail replies on their decisions. I would watch my husband be disappointed by broken promises. Getting angry at the employers were not worth my time. In the end, a few businesses have lost our service. We were loyal customers at one place. After this, I don’t feel the need to go back. There are several other places to go and try out.

I am truly appreciative of the power of prayers and the great people behind them. God works in mysterious ways. I have always believed this. This is my down time. I don’t know which path to take. I have to be careful and not move in some directions for my cyst to not hurt. I am able to work out after taking Aleve. I am able to go places in my electric wheelchair as long as I am tilted back. I am able to read fine literature and dream of dancing. I am able to write. I am able to dress my husband up before he goes to work. I am able to sleep at night and wake up refreshed in the morning.